Notes from a Fart Walk: March Edition

Julie Granger
22 hours ago
16 min read

Welcome to Notes From a Fart Walk (NFFW) March Edition

I'm so excited you're here.

This Newsletter is a parallel publication to a monthly podcast episode by the same name. – Notes from a Fart Walk episodes in the Sink and Swim Podcast.

The March NFFW pod episode is now live. If you love a slow, gentle listen, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you can be a Fart Walker in both places. Tap here to choose your podcast platform and subscribe.

If you're more of the “cuddle up with a warm bevy and blankie and read” type, then this newsletter is exactly for you!

Thank you for being here walking with me in this “in process” space – especially in an online world that pressures us to be polished, certain, polarized, complete and never ever messy or nuanced.

And by the way – I open this newsletter with a super exciting announcement – how the doors are open to finally work with me this year!

This is something I've been quietly working on and gestating for the past few years, and I'm finally thrilled to birth this baby into the world.

I hope you'll join me if you feel the tug. And otherwise, I hope you'll settle in and enjoy the rest of this month's Fart Walk with me.

As always, please feel free to reach out with your thoughts and contributions!

Soul Story Mapping is now open to new & former clients!

I'm not going to bury the lede. Instead I'm going to do what most marketing people tell you not to do. I'm going to open this newsletter with what is potentially the biggest news of all because I'm so proud of it.

OOOOOO! Y'all! The train is leaving the station and I sincerely hope you consider jumping on and joining me on the ride!

I quietly opened up spots in my brand new client container – Soul Story Mapping, last month. Four people have already jumped in and the GORGEOUS experience they're having mapping out their next chapter has been nothing short of beautiful to bear witness to.

I've had the honor of walking alongside women who are navigating shifts and pivots like:

Exiting her half of a business partnership in a large scale PT practice and exploring wilder, smaller, and more alive career and business options that match who she is becoming in her 40's
Finalizing a divorce, putting her health coaching business on hold, and taking on non-clinical role while purchasing a house to become a haven for healing & aliveness with her kids
Leaving multiple contractor jobs and taking on a dream job leading a multi-center functional medicine & wellness practice, all while navigating selling a home and an out-of-state move
Dreaming and mapping out what's next for life and career after the birth of a 3rd child, vowing not to get sucked into work that burns her out or pulls her away from her family

This work feels powerful because it is powerful.

These clients treated themselves to Soul Story Mapping Sessions because they knew they could probably figure it all out on their own, but they didn't want to walk the journey alone anymore.

Women who are used to always being the put-together, accomplished, certain ones are craving a space to be held, uncertain, and a hot mess express.

Because it's in the messy middle that some of our most clear desires show themselves, and if you're not present or held by someone else in a beautiful, coregulatory environment - you might miss the clarity and direction on what's next for you.

Sometimes we work through BIG decisions, and sometimes it's a simple "what am I telling my clients tomorrow?"

And that's exactly what these sessions are for.

And now, you can officially jump in too. If you've been feeling the tug to map out your next chapter of your work + life so it feels as good in your body as it looks on the outside – now's a great time to treat yourself! You can tap here to explore or reach out with questions.

Book a Soul Mapping Session

Just Be With Julie kicks off March 27!

Join me for the first ever monthly free, live contemplative gathering for women in the in-between –

This is for you if you're outgrowing the life + work you once built, and stepping in to something wilder, richer, and more you than it's ever been.

You've done the therapy, journaling, and Insight Timer meditations at6am before anyone else wakes up.

You've optimized your hormones, built in self care, and did all you could to stay grounded in the life you've built.

And still — something underneath won't quiet that says "It's not this. I'm made for more."

If that's you – if you're straddling the life you once dreamed about but have outgrown and the one that is calling your forth, I see you. I get it. I'm in my own process, too.

And I get that sometimes it can feel hard to show up out in the wild, fielding the dreaded "So, what do you do?" question.

If that's you, you might put your head down, trying to be grateful for your work and your clients – when at the same time you find yourself watching the clock, praying for sessions to end.

You're not alone. You're not doing anything wrong. You're just outgrowing. You're in the in between.

And you deserve to be held and seen by people who are right there with you – not expecting you to have a polished "here's what I do" statement, not expecting you to have yourself all figured out.

Because being held and seen in community by people who GET how rich it is to be in the middle – without needing to rush you out of it or put you in a box so you can get to the other side faster – is exactly what helps move you through it with fluidity and decreased friction.

Trying to do breathwork on your own might calm your anxious system for an hour, but that unsettled feeling comes right back when you don't have anyone to hold and witness you, helping to water your growth as you become the next version of yourself.

This isn't a workshop or continuing ed course. There's no curriculum, no homework, no notes to take.

The last thing you need is more information or someone telling you that you don't know enough, that you don't have enough.

Your brain is full, and if having more information would help move you, you already would have gotten there.

You don't have to prepare in advance.

You don't even have to put on pants, for crying out loud.

It's an hour to treat yourself to being seen, held, and letting someone else lead for once.

It's an hour to drop in. To be held in a room full of women who get it.

To be guided — not optimized. Not handed a protocol or a framework for everything you're doing wrong.

Not coached through the lens of "here's what's broken in your practice, your body, your business" dressed up as mentorship or wellness advice.

It's not a self-paced course you'll sign up for and then never do. You have to show up live for this one, baby.

You don't have to know what you're looking for. You just have to show up.

We'll move through a somatic drop-in, a short contemplation, and open space for reflection and live coaching.

It's Free. On Zoom. Friday March 27 at 11 AM ET.

Join Just Be with Julie for free

Now Playing on the Sink & Swim Podcast

February and march have been pretty awesome here in Season 2 of the pod, and I'm thrilled to share the Cliff notes of the first 6 episodes in case you missed them. And as always - when you go tune in, please make sure to hit that "subscribe" button!

Episode 1: Notes from a Fart Walk (February Edition):

This one speaks for itself! It's full of goodness, and even my husband found it particularly supportive for his own journey. The very first Notes from a Fart Walk — and it's exactly what it sounds like: unpolished, unresolved, and unapologetically real. Julie walks you through recovering good-girl conditioning, friendship starvation, and what it actually feels like to stop managing your life and start living inside it. For the high-achieving woman who's tired of performing wellness and ready to just... move.

Episode 2: Interview with Dr. Brianne Grogan

This is a refreshingly honest, in-the-middle conversation about outgrowing former identities, releasing visible success (like a massive YouTube platform), and reclaiming rooted, nuanced, deeply human care—where medicine meets magic—without rushing the leap into what’s next.

Episode 3: Clinician to Coach: The Real Reason Women in Healthcare Struggle to Move into the Coaching Lane

In this episode, I unpack why you might be struggling to fully claim the move from clinician to coach—not because you lack skill or credentials, but because you’re in a deeper identity shift that requires clarity, confidence, and the right support to step out of the in-between.

Episode 4: Big Events are Hard Because They’re Hard

If you’re highly sensitive, neurodivergent, or introverted and find big, stimulating events both meaningful and completely draining, this episode is where I walk you through what’s actually happening in your nervous system, share two honest stories of when I honored my limits (and when I didn’t), and help you navigate the tension between wanting connection and needing capacity—without avoiding people or overriding your body.

Episode 5: Notes from a Fart Walk (March Edition)

Part permission slip, part real-talk dispatch — this episode is unfiltered: I share the shame spiral of pretending you're fine when my body was begging to leave a big networking event, why self-trust is built through noticing what's going on in the body, not optimizing or quieting it, and what it actually looks like to be a messy, powerful woman in process. For the ambitious woman who's tired of being sold tidy answers to complicated seasons.

Episode 6: The Hidden Intersection of RED-S and Perimenopause for active Millennial Women with Dr. Katherine Hill, MD & Megan Hellner, RD of AthleatMD

If you're an active woman in midlife doing everything "right" — eating clean, training hard, optimizing — and your body still feels off, this episode is for you. Dr. Katherine Hill and Megan Hellner of AthleatMD break down the hidden underfueling crisis hiding inside wellness culture, and why it matters for you and the young athletes in your life.

I hope you'll tune in.

And by the way, I'm always looking out for wonderful people to be a guest!

If you're interested in applying to be a guest on the podcast, tap here to fill out the prospective guest application.

Tune to the Sink and Swim Podcast now

This is the part where I slow down enough to feel and share what’s actually alive inside me, notice when and how I’m living out some inherited, hardwired story that I didn’t author, and contemplate and experience what it looks like to re-author that story.

Whew, as usual, there's more than enough that I'm sifting through in my internal world right now. The external world is giving me plenty of reason to do that.

I devoted an two podcast episodes (episode 4 & 5) to the challenge of being a sensitive person at a recent highly stimulating, busy event I attended at my alma mater.

I would consider myself an extroverted introvert. I don't avoid all “peopling” and sometimes I find big events – especially when they're filled with “my people” to be incredibly life-giving. I also find them to be draining. It's a both/and. This event was exactly that.

This particular time, I was able to listen to and honor my body's cues some of the time, and some of the time I definitely did not. I dig into both the courage that came with that and also the shame hangover I felt afterward.

Tune in to the February 25 podcast episode for more on that.

Meanwhile, I am in the midst of a beautiful somatic therapy training which includes teachings on the origins of fatphobia (something nearly every human in the developed, capitalistic world is affected by in some way).

As someone who exists at the intersection of perimenopause (hello, changing body shape), being a healthcare provider, being a white, fairly privileged athletic woman – I admittedly never really paused to deepen my understanding of this historical and cultural phenomenon.

I'm not talking about “body neutrality” or “health at every size” (although both are wonderful movements). I'm talking about the deeper historical underpinnings behind why we have those counter-cultural movements in the first place, and the historical data and research to support why fatphobia and body shaming have centuries-old origins in the transatlantic slave trade, and how BMI and other measures of “health” may be causing more harm than good.

I'm not quite sure what to do with all of this information nor do I position myself as an expert, but I share my in-process grappling with all of it in this month's fart walk episode. Whether you're familiar with these concepts or reading this and going “what is she even talking about” – I highly recommend you tune in.

Finally, in the midst of a very contentious political and cultural climate here in the US, I've been digging into a deeper study on American government, laws, and history. This is my way of putting down my phone and avoiding the spiral that comes with doom scrolling, and instead digging in to really understand why politicians act the way they do, what's actually written in law versus what is told to us in hot takes on the internet, and how I, as a citizen, can make conscious choices to support causes that are meaningful to me (without feeling like I'm screaming into the void). I highly recommend following Sharon McMahon (@sharonsaysso) if you are on Instagram. If you're not on the ‘gram, I recommend her Substack and subscribing to her newsletter. It’s really much more refreshing and grounding than most of the other stuff you might read on the internet.

This is where I look at the people around me — the ones who make it easier to digest my life and the ones who make it harder. Who steadies me.

Who scrambles me. Who gives me room to be honest.

Last month in this section of the newsletter, I went there. I said things out loud that many women have told me behind closed doors that they're feeling – and that I'm feeling too.

What is that thing? Disenchantment and loneliness when it comes to female community and friendship.

This month, I'm sharing how I'm consciously and relentlessly nurturing these desires in ways that are incredibly delightful for me.

I've opted out of spaces that feel transactional, performative, or obligatory (even when, and especially when, they're positioned as “friendship”).

I've stopped being the person who is carrying the rest of my friends without being carried herself (and in doing so, I've called in people who are here to carry me, too).

I've created third spaces that are joy and life giving and have no agenda except to just BE together. This looks like a monthly game night for my neighbors, and a new garden club where all you have to do is show up and hang out with other plant-loving ladies.

I'm currently sitting with a friend at a coworking date at the local coffee shop. We're not talking to each other except every now and then. But it's shared, co-regulatory, body doubling space.

And I've let someone else carry the load of the very social thing I love the most: book club. Our local indie book shop hosts a weekly book club, and instead of hosting book club myself (which I did try to host, but have had a hard time rallying people to attend) – I've let someone else carry that load.

And speaking of co-regulation … one of the funniest (and most grounding) “people” who has helped bring me back to myself lately – is my dog.

Over the last several months, my husband and I have noticed how agitated my dog, Aspen, becomes when either of us is on our phones (i.e. our “rectangles” – what we call them when we narrate our lives through her eyes). It doesn't matter what time of day it is or what any of us is doing – the moment I pick up my phone, Aspen begins growling and whining and she will not let up until I put the phone down and (preferably) pet her.

Obviously some of that has become learned behavior, but I did a little deeper research into this regarding dog behavior, and is is both incredibly sobering and incredibly intuitively grounding.

She is reading whether something I'm reading is stressing me. She can tell if my breathing changes or heart rate picks up, even if it's something that brings me joy. She also notices that I'm “present but not present” in the room, looking at something intently but not actually looking at anything “real.”

Who needs a screen time app or a Brick to keep you honest when you have a labrador retriever mix?

Here you'll find what's swimming “on the surface” to support what's going on deep inside – what's going on in my kitchen, what hobbies are fueling my aliveness, what movement and exercise look like these days as an athlete in perimenopause, what books or shows I'm swooning over, and much more.

Whew, maybe it's perimenopause, maybe it's a current season of BIG creativity in entrepreneur life, maybe it's because the days are still somewhat short because it's still winter – but lately, I cannot be bothered to put much thought or energy into meal prep / cooking.

I generally love cooking. I love the creativity behind it, the grounding of feeling my feet on the floor while pouring my heart into something nourishing. I love taking things from the garden that I've grown with my hands and the earth and turning them into the gift that keeps on giving inside of me.

But lately, I've been turning more to pre-packaged / pre-cooked meats, pre-packaged salads and soups, and quick and easy stuff that requires minimal to no creative effort on my part.

As I write this, it actually makes a lot of sense – I am creating a lot, work-wise, and I simply run out of creative juices at the end of the day for mealmaking.

This is a season, not a forever thing. I sense that after I wrap up several projects, I'll have more creative bandwidth for cooking and meal prep.

If that's you – and you feel your meal making / creative juices are stymied right now, you're not alone. And you're not doing anything wrong.

And if it would help at all, let me tell you a few of the things that are giving me LIFE right now (in case coming up with ideas also feels tiring and draining) --

Bagged salads that have the whole nine in them (carrots, seeds, craisins, etc)
Pre-pulled rotisserie chicken
Really good premade soups you can buy from the store (Deli section)
Hard boiled eggs
Frozen protein waffles
String cheese
Baby carrots, celery & hummus
Nuts
Crackers
Peanut butter on toast with ground flaxseeds and hemp seeds
Yogurt smoothies for post-workout refueling
Reese's peanut butter hearts (which will soon become Reese's peanut butter eggs)

There are so many more wonderful things that I'm doing in the day to day to help me stay grounded and connected to myself, my people, and what's important.

Tune in in to this month's podcast episode to hear more on other topics including

– The songs that are currently speaking to my soul (Yes, of course, they are Taylor Swift songs)

– The books currently giving me life and that I want to read again and again (some of them are spicy!!)

– A random geography fact you never asked to know (but might find fascinating)

– Big news about a big personal project I'm so proud of (hint…it has to do with writing a BOOK!)

This is the part where I share my place in the bigger picture — how the inner work and the team effort and the swim practice turns into the contribution I make through my work and community.

In this week's Fart Walk episode and also later this month in Episode 8, I talk about a dynamic in the healthcare space I'm unsubscribing from: Silent Rivalries in Women in Healthcare.

Silent rivalries exist just about everywhere women come together. It's not unique to healthcare of course. And it's almost always far more subtle and covert than it may seem on the surface. Usually your body picks up on it.

It may show up in the mentor who claims she wants you to win, but every time you work with her, you feel a subtle pressure to please or impress her.

It may show up in the colleague who asks you how many clients you have – a seemingly innocent question – and underneath you feel pressure to hide the real answer or make yourself appear busier than you are.

It may show up in the FOMO you feel when all your colleagues are racing to sign up for the new con ed course taught by your favorite “guru”, and the competing emotion that gives you pause and says “ugh, I don't want to give up another one of my weekends away from my family and routine."

What I want you to know – is that when your body is sending you these signals and picking up on these subtleties – is really important information.

The self help / personal development world will blame you and tell you that it's something wrong with you. It'll tell you that you're just competing, that you have scarcity mindset or imposter syndrome. That you need to go inward and figure out which part of your trauma is making you feel bad around people who are seemingly doing something wrong.

But what if your body is actually giving you a really accurate read to systemic factors that actually undermine the very co-regulation and community you seek among your colleagues and peers?

What if it's not you or them, but the system?

The good news about that is – it takes the blame off of you being the problem.

The bad news is – you can't change the system overnight. Sorry. That's just the truth. Trying to do so would be a really poor use of your energy.

But what you can do is change how you show up to and respond to the system.

If you sense that you're part of a system that doesn't feel nourishing to you, the first thing I want you to know is that it’s okay to be mad. You should be mad.

But instead of just venting sideways or chalking it up to “internalized patriarchy in women” (which it very much is), it's ok to look at where that anger actually belongs — and what it is your system is craving behind that anger.

More often than not, your system is craving safety, relevance, and accurate mirroring and celebration of your power from other women.

It also means looking at the ways you contribute to the system, how you might rage lurk on someone else's social media or subtly try and one-up them when you're talking with them.

And that doesn’t mean overcorrecting by becoming everyone’s biggest fangirl if that feels fake, performative, or like you’re sucking up for aesthetics.

It means giving yourself what you’re not getting before you try and give it to everyone else.

It means setting boundaries with people who make you feel like garbage every time you leave an interaction — and trusting that the way you feel says something about the dynamic, not your worth.

It means noticing where you overexplain, fawn, or fangirl a little too hard — and asking what you’re actually needing in that moment.

Because when your system reaches for those strategies, it’s usually responding to a power dynamic you may not have consciously consented to — one that quietly depends on you keeping someone else on a pedestal while also erasing yourself or making yourself less relevant.

And it means seeking support and accurate mirroring from people who are genuinely invested in seeing you thrive — people who celebrate you without slipping in subtle corrections or humblebrags about how well they’re doing, mentors who don't need you to be “lesser than or weaker than” them so they can keep profiting off of your discomfort, and people who truly celebrate your greatness without needing to insert their own into the sentence.

That's exactly why I've created Soul Story Mapping. Because if you're not only tired of the work you do in healthcare – but also the energy of the people around you who make you feel more drained than inspired – maybe it's time to map out your next chapter with someone who gets where you are and has walked the path herself. (Hint: that's me!)

Book a Soul Mapping Session