What I'd tell you about the clinician to coach transition if I wasn’t afraid of hurting your feelings

From a licensed clinician who crossed fully into the coaching world a decade ago (and sometimes still needs to hear these things herself)

It's officially the year of the Fire Horse today. And if you're a woman in healthcare, you likely are feeling the revving of your internal engines and the momentum and energy around you.

And if you’re also clinician standing at the edge of the coaching world — half in, half out — but ready to move forward, these are the honest truths about the process I wish someone had said to me earlier.

They might feel a little confronting. I share them this way not to shame you, but to offer real honesty and help you see what’s actually happening underneath the strategies, certifications, failed launches, and late-night website edits that don't seem to be moving your coaching business forward.

I share because know this threshold well. I stood straddling the clinical and coaching world for 3 years — and so have many of the women I now work with — trying to figure out why doing “all the right things” as someone who is incredibly capable, qualified, and passionate — still wasn't moving the needle.

Somewhere along the way, I came to the realization that realized this isn’t just a business transition. It wasn't solved when I had the coaching certification in my hand.

That's because it's an identity crossing. And identity crossings are a nervous system transformation that rarely happen from behind a computer screen or alone with your journal and breathwork.

As you read, I invite you to notice if something in here lands for you.

You might feel tension, resistance, or like "YES, that's me!"

If you feel a tug to learn more, I’ll share a gentle next step at the end to offer a way through this identity crossing.

But for now, just read and notice what resonates.

1

You’re not mad about unqualified coaches selling garbage. You’re mad they have the confidence and conviction that you don't.

That random unqualified coach who is selling snake oil and spiritual bypassing when you have umpteen certifications, degrees, and licenses and actually practice ethically?

You’re not mad about their lack of training.

You’re mad they have the confidence and conviction to stand behind what they’re selling — even if it’s garbage — and you’re still over here hesitating about posting about the ceremony you did in your backyard for the Year of the Fire Horse thinking “My god, what if the clinical police come after me for being too ‘woo’?”

2

You’re not protecting your peace. You’re tired of lying when people ask how your business is going.

You've spent the whole day working with clinical clients, watching the clock while secretly wishing they were coaching clients. Then your friend texts you asking you to come to trivia. You're exhausted and say you're too tired. You tell yourself you need to “protect your peace.”

But what if you're skipping it because you’re tired of lying through your teeth, feeling your throat catch and hearing your voice raise an octave when your friends ask how your business is going and you say “it’s great!”

If it feels too painful to talk about your work with others, you don't have to. If you don't want to lie or make it awkward, maybe try "It's challenging me right now, thanks for asking. How is your work?" without swearing off the friendship and social time you know you've been craving.

3

Imposter syndrome as a coach isn't a training problem. It’s an identity problem.

You don’t feel imposter syndrome as a clinician moving into the coaching world because you don’t have enough training. Sister, you and I both know you are overqualified.

You feel imposter syndrome because you’re following all of the “grow your coaching business fast” advice when you haven’t done the foundational work to integrate yourself into your coaching identity.

It’s like trying to walk without crutches before you’ve rebuilt the muscles, retrained your balance, and allowed your bones to fully heal.

You’ll move forward quickly, sure — but it’ll cost you more in the long run.

4

Convincing yourself to not care what other people think is killing your growth.

You cannot think your way into not caring what other people think about your next career path.

It is in your wiring to care.

And the closer people are to you, the harder it is to override that.

Trying to tell yourself it doesn’t matter is like trying to tell yourself not to breathe. You can hold your breath for a while, but your system will make you breathe soon enough.

Nobody is handing out prizes for who made it to the finish line without the help of others.

Confidence is built through repetition, practice, and validation and feedback from people who are fully invested in your growth.

You didn’t learn to walk, ride a bike, or become a clinician by doing it on your own.

You’re supposed to receive input from others. You’re supposed to care what they think.

But some people aren’t the people you need to be seeking feedback from. If they’re going to poo poo or question your direction, put them on a need to know basis only. Block them from your social media, change the subject, and don't volunteer information that you know will trigger them.

You’re not hiding or lying. You’re setting boundaries and honoring yourself in this vulnerable growth period.

5

You haven’t been a beginner in a long time — and you’re trying to rush through or hide the wobbly parts.

Going from a clinician who is a known expert with a strong reputation to a coach navigating a new field isn’t scary because you don’t have a polished website, a viral following, or a perfect “I help” statement down.

It’s scary because you haven’t been a beginner in a long time.

You don’t remember what it feels like to be unsteady, and you’re trying to rush through or hide the wobbly parts so you can feel in control (and whether you want to admit it or not, you love feeling in control).

Nobody goes from 0 to 100 overnight.

It’s supposed to feel wobbly. It’s what you teach your clients. Now it’s ok to take your own medicine.

A quick pause

Let me pause for a moment and say something clearly:

You might feel an urgency, especially here in the Year of the Fire Horse, to get going.

Feelings are valid, but they aren't facts. Feeling urgency doesn't mean you're behind. It doesn't mean you are doing it wrong.

It means you really, really care, and your system is primed and letting you know how important this desire is to you. It's ok to feel all the things about that.

And please know that you are not the only clinician quietly standing in this in-between place.

I have watched and mentored women who felt exactly like you — successful on paper, restless underneath — slowly cross this threshold in ways that felt steady, ethical, and deeply aligned with who they were becoming.

It didn’t happen because they suddenly found the perfect marketing strategy or the pipeline of referrals.

Those things matter, but they came after they finally gave themselves permission to grow into the next version of themselves instead of trying to perform her overnight.

You can do this. But if you do anything here in the Fire Horse year, do it with someone who is fully invested in helping you cross.

It does take patience and gentle support and mirroring from people who have walked the path before you.

I’ve seen it too many times not to believe that.

6

Your lack of confidence won’t be solved by taking another certification (or flaunting it online)

Unless you literally have no skills or experience whatsoever, there is a 99% chance you don’t need to invest in another coaching certification or course —

Even when it’s “the lowest price it’ll ever be"

Even when the teacher says they’ll never offer it again

Even you feel FOMO because all your colleagues are doing it.

Even if you need the CEUs.

I know you love to learn. Me too.

But your lack of confidence won’t be solved by hiding in a classroom on a zoom call with strangers on the internet. It also won't be solved by talking about your certification online. Nobody understands what it is no matter how much you explain it. Your energy is better used elsewhere.

Baseball players don’t learn to hit home runs by watching videos and reading about baseball.

They get up and swing the bat. Over and over.

You need to get in your reps. The new somatic skills or hypnosis technique you paid $9000 for won’t get you anywhere if there is nobody to practice them on.

If you don’t have paying clients yet, open your mouth and ask people to do it for free. You did free work as a newbie clinician. It's ok to do it as a coach, too.

7

If you call yourself trauma-informed but regularly run over sessions because you’re afraid clients will think you’re not doing enough — you may be inflicting the very harm you wish to avoid

If you advertise yourself as trauma-informed but regularly run over sessions by 30 minutes because you’re scared your clients will think you’re not doing enough for them, you’re not being trauma-informed.

You’re breaking the agreement you made with your client when they scheduled with you. They may have planned their whole day or week around it.

Every time you run over, they may be silently stressing in the car about being late to pick up their kid or rushing dinner prep.

Boundaries aren’t just there to keep you safe — they keep your clients safe too.

Being trauma-informed doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself. If it’s not good for you and you’ll be tired and resentful and stressed later, it’s not good for your clients.

PS A caveat on this one because there is nuance that can't be captured in a hot take.

We all run over. But there’s a difference between breaching a boundary and choosing, from a place of mutual agency and generosity, to extend the session. But before you cross that threshold, pause and ask your client if it’s ok. Give them the opportunity to opt out. Don’t assume your client is ok with it simply because they don’t push back. They may not be pushing back because they want to please you or "be a good client." Your job is to maintain consent and containment. Lack of dissent is not consent.

8

It’s not the algorithm's fault your growth is slow when you’re avoiding talking to humans in real life.

It's easy to blame the algorithm when your business is growing slower than you wanted.

But it's harder to admit you're avoiding the one thing that actually speeds things up: talking to real humans, face to face, in real life, about your coaching work.

I see you pouring your heart into a post you gave hours of your life to, only for your reach to be suppressed and nobody sees it. The algorithm does really suck. I've been there too many times to count.

But is it possible you’re saying “you’re an introvert, you don’t really do ‘people’ because telling people face to face requires you to experience the feeling in your throat when someone asks, “So what do you do?” and you're not quite sure how to wrap words around it, or not sure they will get it?

It’s ok to stumble through it, word-vomit, and let it be messy. Tell them you're still figuring it out. They'll respect your humanity, which will make them trust you even more.

9

Stop calling networking "friendship" if you only stay or show up when there’s something to gain

It's not actually “friendship-forward” - even if you call it that - if you aren’t actually invested in cultivating real friendships outside of the networking container.

If you only show up to exchange pitches and business cards, and then ghost the women when they follow up and ask you to go on a walk or coffee date, or you tell them no because something inside of you whispers it’s “not a productive use of your time,” you’re not in it for friendship. You’re in it for the tit for tat transaction.

Real friendship and professional relationships both take time, energy, sometimes giving without receiving, showing up even when it's not "productive" or "fruitful" and following up even if you don't think they'll be a referral source.

At worst, you find a new ride-or-die who has nothing to offer you business-wise but shows up when your kid is puking.

The best networking uses what I call the "Mullet method" - friendship in the front, business in the back. Go in it to truly nurture friendships. It's bonus points if it turns into something fruitful for your business. But that's not the sneaky hidden goal.

At best you get both a friend and a peer who is ready to help you grow your business.

10

Rage-lurking on the social media of people you want to see fail is actually just helping marketing their business for them

Stop lurking on the socials of people you secretly want to see fail. Wishing ill on someone else doesn’t hurt them — it’s like swallowing poison yourself.

And you may not want to hear this but know that every time you tap on their instagram stories or pause to read their post without hitting the heart button – you’re still telling the algorithm to show it to more people. You’re actually helping them. As my BFF Taylor Swift would say, It's actually romantic.

What you give attention to grows. Maybe it’s time to unfollow, block, or mute them. Not because they’re doing anything wrong. But because it’s time to turn your attention inward and ask what you actually need that’s hiding behind all of that rage.

11

You’re treating coaching like a side hustle — which is exactly why it only makes side-hustle money

You say you’re “not ready to leave clinical work yet because it pays the bills,” but you also won’t let your coaching work get big enough to even see if it can work.

You keep treating it like a side hustle — which is exactly why it only makes side hustle money.

In the dating world - if you just sleep around with people without committing to them (even when they want you to) - they're going to match that energy with what you put into it.

So, you can stop blaming clients for not being interested in your work. They're simply mirroring the energy you're putting into it.

And if it feels sticky to go all in, that's ok too. Crossing this threshold is complex, nuanced, and far more of an emotional process than it is a logistical marketing or belief transformation. I get that. You're not alone or doing anything wrong if you find yourself here.

Another gentle invitation

I invite you to pause and notice your breath and what's going on in your body. Feel your butt in your seat or your feet on the ground.

If parts of this list sting a little, it’s probably because you care deeply about doing meaningful work — and that is not a flaw. It’s the very thing that will carry you across this transition.

12

Coaches who weren't clinicians aren't growing faster because they’re smarter — it's because they’re not white-knuckling an identity they’re afraid to outgrow

Some coaches without your depth of clinical experience are growing faster than you — not because they’re smarter, but because they’re not white-knuckling an identity they’re afraid to outgrow.

They’re not trying to convince colleagues about how the work they’re moving into is different from their clinical work, because they don't have anything to compare to.

They’re not trying to straddle two lanes.

They’re firmly in the coaching lane from the get go.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means you have more unlearning and breaking up to do with the narratives, identities, habits, and relationships that keep pulling you into the clinical lane.

13

Feeling panicked about whether a client will pay you so you can pay your mortgage isn’t a scarcity mindset you need to chant affirmations to fix — it’s accurate and wise nervous system math

You don’t have a scarcity mindset that needs more affirmations when you're worried about paying your bills — your nervous system is doing accurate math, and it's ok to resource yourself to take care of that.

Belief work only goes so far when you don’t feel financially resourced.

You don’t have a “scarcity mindset” when you panic about whether a potential client on a discovery call will help you pay your mortgage.

That’s your nervous system doing very accurate, very wise math.

You can’t grow when your fundamental needs aren’t met. This is not an opinion, it's in your actual biology.

If a marketing coach is telling you to “believe harder” while you hesitate to put their five-figure “make 6 figures in 6 months” program on a credit card — that’s manipulation. Pleeeease run away quickly.

Find an ethical mentor who offers support that will help you map out the steps to grow while also caring for yourself financially, and won’t ask you to hand over your first born while telling you that any reservations you have or resistance you feel is just you “playing small.”

14

As long as you need to be the fixer, solver, or hero in the room to feel valuable, you will keep straddling the threshold instead of fully growing into your work as a coach

As a clinician you were trained to be the one who fixes, solves, and leads.

Coaching asks you to step back and let your client lead — and that doesn’t just require new skills or a whole new brand message about "empowerment."

It requires becoming the person whose system feels safe not being the hero, the savior, the fixer, or the diagnoser-in-chief.

Your job as a coach isn’t to know more and have all the answers. Your job is to stop trying to rescue people, let them lead, and stop making their progress — or lack of it — all about you.

Your importance as a guide is not in how much you solve the puzzle for people. It’s in how much you get out of the way and help them solve it themselves. If you aren't ready to let go of that, that's ok.

But just know as long as you need to be the fixer or solver to feel valuable, it will be very difficult to grow as a coach.

15

Nobody is watching — and that’s actually good news

New to online business? I’ve got bad news: nobody is watching.

There isn’t a parade when you publish your website.

Nobody is throwing tomatoes when you post that edgy reel.

Most people never even see it.

But that’s also the good news.

Say what you want. Again and again. This is what people will love you for. So you may as well start practicing now when the stakes are low.

16

Identity crossings aren’t solved with marketing strategy — they happen in community

When you became a clinician, you stepped into a system of rules, mentorship, peers, and belonging that shaped your identity over decades.

That structure once made you feel safe — and now it’s the same structure that feels hard to outgrow.

Identity doesn’t live in your thoughts. It lives in your body and in the communities that mirror who you are.

That’s why crossing into a new professional identity can’t be solved with another marketing strategy.

It’s done by surrounding yourself with people who have already crossed, who can hold the vision of who you’re becoming until you can hold it yourself.

In closing...

If you made it this far, something in you probably recognizes this moment — the mix of excitement, grief, fear, and quiet knowing that you’re ready for something different.

Crossing from clinician to coach isn’t just about building an offer or refining your messaging.

It’s about mapping the space between who you have been professionally and who you are becoming — and doing that in a way your nervous system can actually keep up with.

That’s exactly why I created Soul Story Mapping sessions — a space to slow down, map what’s shifting, and identify the next steps that feel grounded instead of rushed.

If something in this list felt familiar, you can learn more about Soul Story Mapping by tapping here.

And if now isn’t the moment, simply stay with the noticing.

That awareness alone is already movement.

Cheers to the Year of the Fire Horse and all the beautiful momentum you gain this year.

With love,