She's not too much. She's been carrying too much.

Let’s rebrand how we talk about women.

The woman who has trouble asking for help and does everything herself didn’t get that way because she’s stubborn or a martyr.

...She was the little girl with big feelings and a big imagination … who was told she was too sensitive (and therefore a problem) when she asked for help.

The woman who does it all and forgets to rest or slow down isn’t running herself into the ground because she’s a workaholic.

...She was the little girl who only received love and attunement when she was winning, getting straight A’s, or taking care of everyone else.

The woman who comes on a little too strong when making friends and always seems to over-explain when she turns down an invite?

...She was the little girl who was told “go play in your room” when she just wanted closeness. Who was left out on the playground or teased by older siblings.

The woman who starts projects she never finishes — or can’t begin until the pressure is unbearable — isn’t lazy or unmotivated.

...She was the little girl who received criticism no matter how hard she tried… especially when she was doing something she loved. She learned that joy might bring pain.

The woman who competes for “whose situation is worse” isn’t a drama queen.

...She was the little girl who had to be bleeding out to get care when she was struggling.

The woman who over-programs herself every weekend and ends up resentful isn’t just bad at boundaries and self care.

...She was the sensitive little girl who was taught to brush her body’s wisdom under the rug in service to doing what everyone else wanted to do (and now can't hear her body speaking up until it screams).

The woman you call boring or reclusive for not partying anymore?

...She was the deeply intuitive girl who didn’t know how to show up in a world that only celebrated girls who were loud, rowdy, the twerking center of attention, or promiscuous

The woman who’s “extra” — with the party decor, the themed book clubs, the pickleball wins, the over-performing — she’s not just competitive.

...She’s the girl who learned to outshine and outperform so her brightness wouldn’t make others uncomfortable.

She channels her passion, but carries an ache to belong.

And the woman you call clingy, martyr-y, victim-y, bossy, too much, too intense?

What you’re seeing are not flaws. They’re levers she learned to pull to feel safe.

They’re loyal inner soldiers and inner besties — shaped by oxytocin needs, nervous system patterns, and deep feminine instincts — all trying to find love, attunement, and a place to land.

Our systems only feel safe when we have all of those things in check.

No amount of supplements, sound baths, detoxes, or gluten free food is going to give you those things.

Because here’s the truth:

You don’t over-function, over-give, over-explain, over-perfect, or overachieve unless — at some point — it felt like survival.

And beneath all those protective parts?

Is an untold story of a deeper, more beautiful part of her:

The one who felt outcast. Misunderstood. Left out.

The one who knows she deserves to be seen without being shamed.

The one who deeply knows she’s wired for connection, not exile.

What if we normalized seeing those weird or unsavory parts of people not as sinners to be shunned…

…but as saints locked away, doing all they could to love and be loved?

What if we leaned in — when a woman is “too much” — and asked:

What is she trying to show me? What’s the deeper story here?

This doesn’t mean abandoning your boundaries or allowing someone to mistreat you.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your body's own cues for what feels co-regulatory and what doesn't.

This doesn’t mean giving her a free pass or taking care of all of her needs (at the expense of your own) so she can bypass her own healing.

But it does mean we need to stop pretending we’re meant to self-resource everything in the name of "personal development."

You are not “bad” for needing external validation.

You’re a mammal.

You were born to co-regulate.

You’re allowed to want to be seen.

You’re allowed to need others.

In fact -- in a world that seeks to divide and polarize us -- and has created an epidemic of females starving for connection

It's highly advisable that you sink in and lean in instead of look away and cancel.

And if you find yourself rolling your eyes at her, judging her?

This is a gentle reminder might be one of your protectors and loyal soldiers showing up and speaking up.

Not to shame you — but to invite you to sink in and listen.

Because your own protectors got smart too. They learned their ways in order to have your own needs met.

So what if, instead of canceling or competing, we softened and sank in toward the parts we see in each other and ourselves?

That’s where we find the trust to connect and swim again.

When we stop paddling furiously in isolation, trying to prove our worth.

When we stop trying to be “the good one,” “the strong one,” or “the chill one.”

And we learn to sink into the truth of who we are:

Wildly feminine. Tender. Multi-layered.

Too much for some, sure.

But just right for the ones who’ve made peace with their own wild and intuitive parts.

So when you get the urge to judge, label, or cancel the woman who's too much?

Let her be a mirror. Let her be a teacher. Let her be a sister.

The more we practice this?

The more we all remember —

We were never supposed to do this alone.