Too Good at Making It Fit — Until I Finally Outgrew It

The quiet rebellion of walking away from what no longer fits — even when you’re the one who built it

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I didn’t leave because I wasn’t good at it

I left because I was too good at making it work.

Too good at squeezing into systems that made me shrink.

Too good at floating in someone else’s lane -

...when my Soul was begging me to sink deeper.

I used to think success meant to just keep swimming.

Staying afloat.

Keeping it all together.

Performing my way to the next gold star.

But I was never taught how to sink —

... into my truth,

... into stillness,

... into self-trust.

So when the whisper came — “you’re done” —

I knew it wasn’t failure.

It was a sacred surrender.

A soft descent out of the ivory towers of the white coat…

...and into my Soul Story.

I didn’t leave in crisis

I left with clarity.

No flaming burnout.

No dramatic collapse.

Just a quiet reckoning and knowing:

Even what I once thought was a dream no longer fits.

I had built the dream on paper

Doctorate.

Private practice. Amazing clients.

Cash-pay, schedule-freedom, total autonomy.

But even there -

I was paddling furiously and holding my breath to keep swimming in a system not designed to let me thrive.

It looked like freedom

Compared to the toxic, burnout-inducing jobs I’d had before - it was.

But being in PT still felt like performing.

Like swimming in someone else’s ocean full of rules and regulations and personalities that weren’t healthy.

Where staying afloat at at the top still required me to abandon parts of myself and my story.

And that’s not real freedom

Because when ambition asks you to disconnect

Because when your ambition asks you to disconnect from your body, your intuition, your wildness — you’re not thriving.

You’re just surviving with makeshift life preserver of alphabet soup behind your name that weighs you down instead of keeps you bouyant

I outgrew the white coat.

Even though I looked damn good in it.

Even though it impressed people.

Even though I supported a lot of patients and truly loved the work when I was “in” it.

Even though I could’ve kept swimming.

But I didn’t want to perform my life anymore.

I wanted to feel it.

To sink into it.

To experience it.

To lead from the inside out — not from external applause, credentials, invitations to speak at big conferences, or measuring how full and busy my schedule is.

This is the swim lane I choose now:

Rooted.

Resourced.

Soul-led.

Built on clarity, productivity, or achievements (but cool thing is - the achievements still come without the hustle)

Aligned with my inner knowing, not old programming or the conformity of the invisible Clinician Contract.

And yes — that meant sinking first.

Sinking into grief, truth, fear.

Sinking into what I was no longer willing to carry.

Sinking into my sacred rage at how much I had abandoned myself to “do it right.”

Sinking in to the parts of my identity (and therefore limbic system) entangled in safety = being in this world.

You’re allowed to stop treading water.

To stop holding it together & making it work when you’ve outgrown it.

To let it unravel, gently.

To trust that sinking is not the end but how you find your true buoyancy.

To remember that simply changing paths / changing your title won’t change how you feel deep inside. You still have to sink.

I know how scary that sounds.

Especially when the old identity still looks good on paper.

When it’s still making you money or giving you benefits.

When people still call you successful and thank you for helping them.

When you’ve given so much of yourself to it.

When it would feel easier to just stay the course.

It should feel scary.

And here’s the truth:

You can’t swim freely while constrained in a Conformity Corset.

You can’t build something soul-aligned when you can’t fully breathe.

You may look like you’re swimming on the surface, but deep down there’s an anchor weighing you - keeping you from moving forward.

That weight feels heavy, sure. But it keeps you in a cocoon of sameness (i.e. perceived safety)

If you’re feeling this…

If you’re tired of performing “health and wellness” in the name of “a prospering career” instead of truly living it in your own body and Soul— this is your gentle invitation.

Not to jump ship.

But to gently sink into truth.

(Bonus points: sink in with a buddy. This is what I do with clients!)

Trust that when you do, you’ll discover the power to rise & swim with purpose.

You’re not wrong for feeling this tug. Even if it hurts.

The pain you feel is a nudge from your Soul saying “Let me out!! I need to shine!”

You were built for more expansive waters.

And it’s not going to be a clean break from one world to the next, because you were built to hold both —

The mess and the magic

The fear and the freedom

The sink and the swim

Let this be your invite.

You’re not “not enough” - You’re too good at making yourself conform. You’ve outgrown this space.

You’re not “too sensitive” - you see and feel things that most clinicians don’t.

You’re not lazy or ungrateful - you’ve just entered a world where you no longer define your worth by productivity, patients, and credentials

You’re finally getting honest about what no longer fits your story.

The white coat never

defined you.

It was just one expression of your genius.

One chapter in your story.

But you?

You’re the whole damn book.

You always have been.

Now it’s time to uncover the rest of the story.

It’s time to write the next chapter.

The one where you don’t need to choose between

Science and soul work

Strategy and softness

Safety and expansion

The chapter where you… sink AND swim.